In the Beginning……

I’ve stated before that I have always been the type of person who wanted to get everything right.  I wanted to get good grades.  Getting a “B” wasn’t good enough.  I had to have an “A”.  So, when I became pregnant with my now 9 year old daughter, I didn’t think I was transferring that perfectionist mind to parenting.  But, subconsciously, that is exactly what I did.  I read every book possible because I wanted to be prepared.  I wanted to know when to give her solid food, how often to change a diaper, the right position to breast feed, how often to feed her.  I literally cried at the hospital before leaving because I was determined to breast feed and I had to get it right.  Although I had been around young children and babies pretty much my whole life (my mom owned a daycare), I needed to know what to do for my child.  Unfortunately, the baby books only took me to toddler age.  She’s certainly outgrown that stage and two more kids have come along and are now ages 7 and 5.  What do I do between the end of the baby book and now?  Well, it’s certainly not found it driving myself crazy trying to do everything.  I caused worry, stress, and many tearful moments.  When the tears rolled, that’s what I defined as having a “mommy moment”.  The bad thing is, I felt even worse for having that moment and then became frustrated that I took the time to have it.  Did my kids expect me to be perfect?  Of course they didn’t.  They have no clue and their only expectations are to be loved and taken care of.  Why would I even do this to myself?

We can read all the books possible, but some things are just going to have to be learned.

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