Just being Me

Typically I am the type of person who could care less what people think about me. I have my own fashion style and dress in what I feel makes me cute. I don’t have to have long straight hair.  As a matter of fact, back in 2010, I decided to go natural.  I don’t care to keep up with the Joneses and because of that I’m not the envious type.  I’m cool living in my own world.  But when I started having children, my “care” factor started to increase and I did worry about what people thought about me, but more so about my parenting skills.  I think it started when people began offering their parenting advice and telling me what they thought I should be doing as a mom.  As I’m typing right now, I know that’s what it was.  It’s funny how people do that and they don’t even know how it makes the parent feel.  Now don’t misunderstand me and think I’m saying parents don’t need advice as I’m certainly not saying that.  But what I am saying is you should think about the advice you are offering……was it requested, do you and the parent have the same philosophical beliefs or even the same spiritual beliefs?  I mentioned in a previous post that it was very important for me to breastfeed my children.  Well, I recall people questioning my decision to do that.  Did they think their questioning would bother me?  Of course not.  But it did.  However, it’s what I wanted to do and thank God I was able to do it for each of my kids.  It was sustenance for them, but also a time of bonding.  Every parent wants to be a good parent (or I at least hope so).  I can’t be the type of mom my mother was to me.  She loved me and still does very much, but my kids aren’t me, so I have to learn how to parent them and their different personalities.  All in all, I’m going back to my old mindset where I am not really worried so much about what others think about me or my parenting skills.  Whose advice do I want and need…..God’s.  He’s who I go to when I need to know what to do with my children and how to raise them.  I need spiritual guidance, not someone’s personal opinion.  One thing I know my mom did right in raising me and my siblings is praying for us.  That’s something I do want to incorporate in my mothering.  At the end of the day, I’ve just got to be me.  I’m not a perfect mom, but I’m doing what I feel is best for my family.  That means God first in whatever we do and learning as we go along.  As I learn the art of “un-perfecting” motherhood and enjoy what I have been given…..kids…..motherhood, I’m looking forward to what’s yet to come and I hope to alleviate some of my parenting anxiety and stress, by just being me and not what someone else says I should be.

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