I still need the village

I’m learning to be honest with myself and deal with my emotions properly.  That means not being down and out when things don’t work out exactly as planned or praying more when I just want to curl up and cry.  There was a time when my mothering skills were really being challenged by the stresses of life, active kids, and over analyzing what I should be doing as a mom.  But I’m in change mode now and working diligently to relax a little bit more and not allow perfection to rule me.  One of those non-perfect realizations I had to come to is that I need help.  It’s going to take more than just me and my husband being parents to our kids.  Parenting for us includes parents, grandparents, friends, and many other factors.  It takes me back to the old adage, “It takes a village to raise a child”.  I am definitely understanding and very appreciative of what that means at this point in my life.  When my husband and I started having children, we knew we wanted them to be close in age so they could play together, be the best of friends, and grow up together without a big age gap.  OMG…….we didn’t think about three little people running around and playing….ALL AT THE SAME TIME!  But thank God for parents.  Every summer and even other times during the year, my kids go to visit my parents.  This gives me a chance to take a break and spend more quality time with my husband.  It also give my kids a chance to visit with grandparents, cousins, and take a mini vacation.  Initially, I felt bad because I didn’t want my mom filling my role, she had done her job in raising me, and now it was mine turn to raise my kids.  But when I was having a really bad night, I remember talking to my dad and his words gave me solace.  He said, “you don’t have to do this alone, your mom and I are here for you all.  Those are our grandkids and we love them.  We are here to help you”.  So, I’m utilizing the village and I’m all in favor for it.  My parents did a good job with me, not because they were perfect parents, but they loved me, spent time with me, allowed me to grow, taught me to dream, prayed for me, and forgave me when I messed up.  Who better to help me grow as a parent than the people who parented me.  But guess what….there were other people in the village who helped my parents too!  Don’t let the village die out.  It is still very much needed.  My name is Tomashia, I’m not a perfect mom, and I need help.  Whew!  I’m not ashamed.  God is growing me in just that statement alone.

2 thoughts on “I still need the village

  1. Tomika Busby says:

    Beautiful. Absolutely warming to cherish and nuture the relationship between Mother and child. So many will never understand the importance of being an example knowing that the first persons they take notes from are their parents. .. We’ll written


    • tomashiar says:

      Thank you, Tomika. I’m trying to be a good example, but I’m learning I won’t get it all right. My goal is to make sure my children know if they put and keep God first, all other things will fall into place.


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