The whole purpose of my blog is to have a place to journal my emotions and write about the ups and downs of motherhood. I didn’t want to be judged on what I said, but gain support and understanding as a mother. So I have not posted to my blog in the last few weeks and I have a perfectly good reason. There are times in your life where you encounter trials that seem to get the best of you and you just want to dig a hole and bury your head in it. That is exactly how I have been feeling these last few weeks, but through much prayer and self reflection I know there is nothing to be embarrassed about. My children are a gift, and I am truly blessed to be able to parent them.
Last year after having some behavior problems with my son, we took him to his pediatrician who then referred us to a specialist. The end result was my son being diagnosed with ADHD. I had heard of this illness before, but never had a reason to research it. After the diagnosis I had no choice but to see what it was all about. I now understand the fits of rage and anger, the excessive hyperactivity, emotional rollercoaster, and impulsivity. I’m not a bad mother who doesn’t know how to parent (in spite of some of the gleaming eyes I get from other parents). My best advice for those parents, don’t judge, you too will have some type of issue to deal with concerning your child, you just don’t know when.
As a believer in Jesus Christ I am trained to know everything is spiritual. So although my son is acting out, (this is not the same little boy who used to come up and hug me for no reason), something deeper than the face I see is happening. So how do I deal with him and this illness? Well, that is the question I have asked myself constantly in between crying and praying. Ultimately, I have to trust God that my son is healed. He is healed from this curse that makes him evil and unrecognizable! I can’t give up on him. My faith is stronger than that and it will grow as we work through this as a family. He doesn’t want to cause problems and hates the way he behaves, so it is my and my husband’s responsibility to get him the help he needs to be able to function normally. That requires love, support, and understanding from family, friends, teachers, and anyone who has a connection to us. ADHD will not take control of our home and I will not beat myself up, nor will I allow anyone to beat up my son. We are determined to have victory and not defeat, pray and not give up, love unconditionally and not only when times are good. I kept asking God isn’t this just too much to bear. Evidently, we can handle it. So to every other mom out there struggling with this issue, and you don’t know what to do, I say, hang in there, pray, don’t give up, and God will do the rest. Although every article I read said this was common and 3 million people are diagnosed every year, I have to view this through spiritual eyes and say, we win! God has not and will not leave us and He can and will still use my son for His glory. When I get discouraged, I will return to this post and remind myself to have hope and faith.
Ponder on this:
Romans 5:3-4 New International Version
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.