Have you ever had a goal you wanted to reach so bad you could just about taste it? I mean the vision to go after that dream and do your best to make it happen and be a success? Well, when I initially started UnPerfecting Motherhood, it was not just something I woke up one day and said, “Hey, I’ll start a blog today about motherhood.” No, this vision to start a blog came about many years ago when I attended a conference at one of my old jobs. I’d have to say maybe as far back as 2009 possibly. At this point I was expecting my 3rd child and I thought it would be cool to journal all the experiences of being a mom. When my last child was born I was already raising two kids ages three and a half and one and a half. It was mind blowing to think I was having another one! Looking at it now, my kids are really close in age! But I had previously written loves letters to my kids before they were born, so this would just be the flip side of those feelings.
Anyhow, I had this awesome idea. I’ve always enjoyed journaling. I liked writing. Instead of typing online in an application, my writing was ‘old school’ paper and pencil. It was a way to get all the thoughts out of my head. Essentially, a brain dump. So of course blogging would be right up my alley. It’d be a way of dumping my stresses, frustrations, joys, excitements, and all those vast feelings we go through as moms. It took me until 2015 to actually take the time to go online and see the options for starting a blog. I was super excited. Granted, I’m an IT person by profession but it took me some time to get started and learn the various aspects of the platform I chose to use.
Fast forward to present day and I found that I was actually stressing myself out by the desire to blog and do something spectacular. Why? Because I’m a perfectionist. So I had to take a break. I didn’t really want to, but with all the demands of being a wife, mom, and employee, it was what I needed to do.
I had to spend some time figuring out what I wanted. What did I learn during this time? That I’ve got to get better at expressing myself. I take on a lot and I tend to hold all my emotions in until one day I can’t take any more and “blow up”. It’s not good and I recognize that, so although I’m extremely busy working, shuttling kids to appointments, and making time to be a wife, blogging is my release. I’m open and honest with myself on how I’m feeling about parenting and being a mom.
I’m still working out the kinks and figuring out my next steps for the blog as a whole, but I will continue to blog. My goal is to be the best mother I can, not perfect, but simply me. I want other moms to know we don’t have to live up to the hype. If your kids are running around in the grocery store and they think it’s hilariously funny, but you are embarrassed, don’t stress. It’s normal. That used to be me. What good did stressing out do? None! I was so worried about what other people thought based on societal views of what a mother should be and how she should rear her children. I want to live my best life and living through the eyes of someone else, stressing out, keeping emotions bottled up, and pressuring myself to be perfect is not the best life.
So as I embrace a new year, a new mindset, and living fear free, I invite you to take the journey with me. For all those who follow this blog via WordPress or Facebook, please like, share, and give me some feedback.